My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide. Tbh they really left me hanging there
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the orphan say to his parents, nothing cause they left him.
Why was sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regreted it. She left him too.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
So a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
So a woman gives birth to a child and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down and starts swinging it around the room and slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go you sick bastard!”, and the doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What's the difference between my dad and my step dad? My step dad beat my ass before he left
my dad told me to do wht he did best so i left
Why was tickle me Elmo upset when he left the factory? Because they only gave him one test tickle
Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
Question- What happend to the depresses kid who tried to high 5 a tree? Answer- He was left hanging
