Left Jokes

I would tell a dad joke but it already left me

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory. Two test-tickles

One day my mom told me to take out the trash and I did . The next day mom asked me where is your sister and I said a garbage truck took her. Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left

We stop by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us “I am wan kin the manager.” So we just left in disgust!

i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

Hello this is your captain speaking, we are flying at a level of 89 feet, if you look out of your window on the left, you will see the world trade centre

So my girlfriend left me i took her weelchair and she came back crawling back

Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.

Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight".

Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.