When my dad left he said he would bring back the milk but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him and he said "I used all the milk to make your sister"
I tour up my homework, but I then replaced it with this copy it may look like it but trust me its diffrenet! The answers ARE RIGHT better than left!
what fell down the tree first the emo or the apple
guess what the apple because the emo got left hanging
My gf left me for spending my own money I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute she leaves me
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tear left to cry...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic? A: Right where you left em.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My father left me at a young age
He was only five
An orphan made an Instagram, he did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner
A teacher says “if you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars how much do you have” Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front but the teacher called on her anyway. The girl said. “ My parents left me so I would have one dollar.”
I tried to high five a tree it left me hanging
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
They say they'll stay but i left firstt
Your hair is so far back you left it at your last address
