If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Law Jokes
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is Brain, the brother's name is Nobody and the sister's name is Everybody.
One day, Nobody killed Everybody, and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, "NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!"
"Sir, are you okay?" The police asked.
"I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!" The father yelled even louder.
"Are you mad?" The police asked.
"Yes, because my name is Mad!" The father exclaimed.
"Where's your brain?" Asked the police.
"At home because my wife name is Brain," the father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
Mother Nature deserves a traffic ticket.
Summer is speeding by way too fast. 🤣🤣🤣
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Did you hear about the bank robber?
Turns out he got shot by the police.
And he wound up in prison.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
My teacher is a rapist.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
