Law jokes
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
What's America's best class?
Gun 101.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools.
Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
How to commit arson:
1. Burn down an orphanage.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!