Laughter jokes
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.