What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
My fucking life, cya.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
