What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?
My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
