Laughter jokes
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
*funny joke about dicks*
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...