Lates jokes

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.

Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

No phobia lasts forever 👌😂

Why is time important? To not be late.

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.

2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

What do you call a rapper who's always late?

Time Rhyme.

The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!

My mom said, "Hey, come over here."

I responded, "Too late, Mom!"

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.

The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.

Why was the computer late to work?

Because it had a hard drive!