Lates jokes
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 馃憣馃槀
Why is time important? To not be late.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I鈥檓 losing my mind and cutting myself.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.
2, 4, 6, 8, you're staying up too late.
2, 4, 6, 8, all I do is master bait.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
What do you call a rapper who's always late?
Time Rhyme.
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that鈥檚 running late!
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!