If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she’s a little tardy?

A guy is due to meet his friends for drink at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

The guy says, “Well, you won’t believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her.”

The friends are cheering and one friend asks, “So… did you get any head?”

The guy replies, “No, I couldn’t find it.”

Oh Sh**! I’m late for y interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight? A: They get their shit packed the night before.

What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner? The cold shoulder

A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren’t russian. They were probaly stalin.

What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.

I’m late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

Dad:🦆 Kid:? Dad:🦆🦆 Kid:huh? Dad: ur too late… Kid: WHAT Dad: … GOOSE

If a Sped is late for class is it wrong to call them tardy

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: “Stop pirating video games.” Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I’m happy I was late to work! I mean… I could’ve di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

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