Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
Driving through the woods today I saw a boy with a bare behind.
Q: Why don't pedophiiles when races? A: because they like to come in a little behind.
So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom..... Until they are flashing behind you!
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain ? The wall behind him.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Even Steph Curry can’t hit threes from behind your hairline
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
