Last night jokes

Mom

    • "There is no way you can fit in there."

    "Says who?"

    "Your mom."

    "When?"

    "Last night."

    "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

    Mama

    • How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

  • 1
    • Last night memes

    Meal

    • Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

    Starters - Foreplay

    Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

    Dessert - Blowy

    Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

  • 0

    • Wife

    • My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

  • 0

    • Kidnapping

    • I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

  • 1

    • Alarm Clock

    • Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

    Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

    Cop

    • Officer: Hi, how high are you?

    Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

    Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

    Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

    Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

  • 0

    • House

    • Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"

    The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."

    After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.

  • 2

    • Pedo

    • I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"

    I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."

    She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.

  • 0

    • Queef

    • What is a queef?

    Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

  • 0