Language jokes
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
What name is easy to say in Spanish?
Marissa!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Do you know your E?
You're E tarded.
Say "I cup" but in words.
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
The most famous line from Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar is “Et tu, Brute?” Why can’t he just speak plain English?