Language jokes

Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?

A: It means cats and dogs can talk.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.

Why was the chicken in trouble?

For using fowl language!

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

What did the letter A say to the letter B?

"Z" you later.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family?

(There is no F in orphan.)

Wanna hear a pun?

Welp, I'll punch you with one!

What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?

Call them retarded.

Yahahlmsyw.

That stand for:

You are has a whole, let me show you why.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Akeld." "Akeld who?" "Assfeild!"

Why tie when you can knot?

I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.

After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?