Language jokes
Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
Memes
Alpha Kenny body?
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Why tie when you can knot?
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?