Language jokes
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
Alpha Kenny body?
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the rap battle?
For WORDPLAY!
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I saw two deaf people talking shit about me in sign language.
So I turned off the lights.
What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A Gaelic.
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
How do sick Mexicans say hello?
"Ebola."