Language jokes
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
Like (DYM 148).
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.