Language jokes
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Like (DYM 148).
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.