Language jokes

What do you call a swearing piece of shit?

Cus-turd.

Did you know that ASL is a dead language?

Yeah, nobody speaks it.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

Orange: Hey.

Pear: Hey.

Orange: No hay!

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.

I asked my friend Cammy what is 55+68 and he was to say it in words, he replied with "swebin".

I make science puns, but only periodically.

This for you roman y e e e nt

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven.

Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"

Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

But numbers can. (Lol)

Fuck off!

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

Do you know Wildee?

What's that?

Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?

A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.

Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

"P,u!"

"P,u who?"

"P,u, you smell like shit!"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Dishes."

"Dishes who?"

"Dishes a bad joke."

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)

I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂

Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"

Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."