Language jokes
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Chinmey?
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
bröd
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Why do dogs howl?
Because that's the only contraction they know.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Why did the first fence hate the other fence?
The second fence used some of-fensive language.
Two (DYM 112)
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
I am on the German website.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Where does Santa send his children to study?
The Elf-phabets.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"