Language jokes
Angel is a good word.
Aren't I beary good?
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.
How do you say "nose" in Spanish?
hmm.... No sé.
Cock.
Ha ha ha, kya bath hai.
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"
Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."
Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"
Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"
Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."
Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"
Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."
Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"
Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"
Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."
Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.