Language jokes
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?
Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Impossible? I’m very possible, really!
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
What is the difference between a book and a Mexican?
One has papers.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
Chi
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What did the letter A say to the letter B?
"Z" you later.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Say: Eye Spell: Map Say: Ness
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What goes after the butt?
The POST-erior.
Me say, "Crack my finger."
My hubby crack my finger.
Now say it backwards.