Language jokes

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

"Ur Mater."

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!

I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

I went shopping, and then to the hospital, and then to bed, and then I promised to only say "and" once in a sentence.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

My fish puns aren't on porpoise.

Poop backwards is poop. 💩

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?

- F4, F U, then last F U Q.

Do you know your E?

You're E tarded.

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.

Why did the butt fart?

Because they don't know the words.

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.