Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobody. Nobody who? (HAHAHAHAHAHA)
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
Alle Kinder heißen Rune, außer einer Pussy.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
