Know jokes
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Wanna know how I got away from Iraq? Iran.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.