Know jokes

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?

Just tell them that it floats.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Wanna know something the orphan could never do?

Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.

Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?

Because he's dead.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.