Know jokes

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?

Depends how hard they blow out the candles.

A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.

The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."

The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."

There are some questionable candies out there, such as:

"All I want is a good Blow Pop."

"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."

"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."

"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."

"Or adopt Three Musketeers."

"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Did you know "bj" ends with "job" because if you are giving a man a blow job, it sucks? But if you’re giving it to a woman, it's called "eating out" because it’s a privilege.

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.

Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.

You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.

You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.