Know jokes

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.

Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.

Did you know, the average gay person likes men?

Why can't orphans play sports?

They don't know what a home team is.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.

The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."

The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"

One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"

The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"

"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.

The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."

Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.

How do you know an abo robbed your house?

The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.

You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.

THIS IS A RHYME

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna.

Jill said yes as he grabbed her dress,

and they had a little fun.

Jill forgot her pills so now they have a son.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?

I don't know, I can never see them.

What do you call a body without a nose?

Nobody knows.

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.