Know jokes
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
At school I am always called emo.
Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.