Know jokes

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

With a taste test.

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?

The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.

How do you know if a rapper is lying?

His rhymes don't add up.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and f**k off).

Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

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Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).

Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

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Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.