Killer jokes
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
A joke.
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
"Fuck off for I killed him, bum bum."
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Helen Keller, more like hell 'n killer.
Wow, these jokes are lit.
Some might say even killer!