Killer jokes
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
When you try to sneak something
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
There are painkillers, but they only relieve physical pain. I wish something could relieve my internal pain.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven.
Oh, wait... never mind...