Killer jokes
Why did Hitler kill himself?
I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?
To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.
Why did the murderer invest in condoms? To kill the future buyers!
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Helen Keller, more like hell 'n killer.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.