Kill jokes

What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?

I don't eat the fruit.

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵

My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.

The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

What would you do if you were killed?

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????