Kill jokes

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.

Why did the mushroom kill himself?

Because he had a mushy life.

My peepee small.

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.

Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵

My mom said to go do the dishes, but she did them before me, so I killed myself.

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

I killed a man in '94.

Person: You can't kill an orphan!

Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

What would you do if you were killed?

*America shoots down balloon*

China: "You killed an innocent man!!"

USA: "What?!"

China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."