Kill jokes

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.

Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.

Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?

I killed my cat.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?

It danced its a** off.

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

How does a skeleton kill a bug?

They SOCKET!

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.