Kill jokes
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What would you do if you were killed?
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
I killed a man in '94.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
I killed my cat.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.