Kill jokes
Ms. Norsworthy's chompers are so big they killed a kid once.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
A person told an orphan to not move; otherwise, they would kill their parents. What did the orphan do?
It danced its a** off.
What do Hitler's gas "shower" and guns have in common? They both kill someone.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
I killed my cat.
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
I killed a man in '94.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?