Kill jokes
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
Craig Duncan is a child soldier with bad breath and has killed 5 people (on Fortnite).
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.