I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Why did I kill?
Because I'm dumb.
My dad killed himself - because he was Hitler
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
why did the orphan kill his self
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
