Kids jokes

Language

Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

Kid

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

Memes

Rest

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

Kid

Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?

Because he’s disabled.

Vegan

Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.

Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.

Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?

Kids: Yeah!

Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!

Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.

*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*

Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.

Kid

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

Kid

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.

Bullying

These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.

It was 9/11 all over again.

Bear

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Kid

What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).

Snow

What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.

Child

How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?

Depends on who's hanging.

Tree

The emo kid asked the tree for a high five. The tree left them hanging.

Emo kid

What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?

They're both gay and use knives.