Kids jokes
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.