Kids jokes

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD?

Concentration camp.

What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?

Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "Sad"

Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

Why can't two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.