Kids jokes

Kid

What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?

A zombie Apocalypse!

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟

Fortnite

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

Ritual

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

Kid

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

Memes

Show

Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

Kids changing the channel to Annie.

Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

Dwarfism

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

Water

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

Bullying

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

Police

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

School

Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.

Wheelchair

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Orphan

Teacher: Anyone missing?

Orphan: My parents.

Teacher: Something that is real, kid.

Orphan: My family.

Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!

Parent

Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.

Kid: So what? At least they love me more.

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their parents.

Friend

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Kid

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.