Kids jokes
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
I know where you live.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Why can't orphan kids play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday? They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
