Kids jokes
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
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Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).