Kids jokes
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
How do you surprise a blind kid?
Put a plunger in the toilet.
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
Turn the comments into a kindergarten fight.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Hey kids, are you ready for Faptisim?
How do you get black kids to stop jumping off the bed?
You put Velcro on the ceiling.
How do you get the black kids down?
You invite the Mexicans over.
I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."