Kids jokes
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
What is a show for kids?
Barney.
Am I the only one here?
When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.
FUCK EMO KIDS!
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.