Kids jokes
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
What do you call a kid hanging? An emo kid!
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.