Kids jokes
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Kid: Who is your mom?
Orphan: They left me😭