Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Kids Jokes
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
That autistic kid having sex for the first time:
"U The Hips, U The Hips!"
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
