Kids jokes

Kid

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.

Orphan

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

Emo

What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?

When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!

Grandfather

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

Memes

Momma

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Kid

What happens to emo kids when they go up?

They never come down.

Kid

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

Sex

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

Santa

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

Batman

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

Cookie

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

Orphanage

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Kid

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Kid

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

Emo kid

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

Kid

How do blind kids get punished?

By moving the furniture around the house.