Kids jokes

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Both can't see their parents.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.

Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.

Kid 1: Aw, thanks!

Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10

Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"There's a great singer inside of you."

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.