Kids jokes
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
Memes
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.