Kids jokes

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.

He still is a kid.

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...

How do blind kids get punished?

By moving the furniture around the house.

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

What do clothes and emo kids have in common?

They both get hung.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?