Kids jokes
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five. Unfortunately, the tree left him hanging...
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.
Kid: Please.
Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.
Kid: Everybody is hugging.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"There's a great singer inside of you."
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.