Kids jokes

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”

Vote for the better joke.

What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?

They are not for kids.

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

What is the name of a show for kids?

Barney.

What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?

It left him hanging.

Teacher: What is a cow?

Kid: Meat.

Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?

Kid: Eggs.

Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?

Kid: Homework.

Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.

On a desk in pure isolation.

What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?

I only stuff the turkey.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!

What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?

Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.

Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.