Kids jokes
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What tree is every emo kid trying to find?
The hanging tree.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.