Back

Kids jokes

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.

A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?

The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.

What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.

What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.