Kids jokes

This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.

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  • "I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."

    When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

    Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

    A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."

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  • I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

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  • What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

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  • I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

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  • Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

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  • Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

    Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.

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