Kidnapping jokes

Why can't orphans be kidnapped?

Because most kidnappers use a family van.

A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.

"This place looks scary," the kid said.

And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."

How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?

Shut off his computer.

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!

Luigi: Where did they go?

Mario: To the left.

Luigi: Fuck

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Jacob Colletto

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.

Kid: Runs home.

A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...

If you know, you know.

Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?

What do kidnappers play?

Roblox.

It is not funny about kidnapping.

There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.