Kid

Kid Jokes

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?

Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.

Shooting

I don't think it's a good idea for AISH workers to date each other.

If there's ever a shooting at one of those offices, the kid would lose both parents.

Death

I don't like them white, pale, always talking about death EMO kids!

Sorry, I meant CHEMO kids.

Pear

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Orphanage

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Rain

It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.

Why?

Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."

Santa

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

Orphanage

Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?

Because no one’s looking for them.

Boy

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Cheese grater

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

Class

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman: