kid: aye mum imma do somthing dad could never do mum: and that is? kid walks out kid comes back in with milk mum:imma beat ya ass

Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-

Sorry for my bad english U-U

What does a bullied kid say during at game of Kahoot?

“Id like to Kashoot up this school.”

I eat kids

I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way

dad: what do ou call a crazy creeper

mom: shit idontknow… kid: crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dad: tahtsmy bnoys!!!

So 2 kids argued and insulted each other…

KID 1: Your dad left because he didn’t want you so why don’t you kill yourself?

KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn’t want you.

What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?

They both like to dump their loads into little kids.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river? Moses hits the adoption lottery!

Why can’t cancer kids have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb well it’s not 53 cause my basements still dark

My wife left me and took the kids

A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks “what are you doing dad” the dad replies “having sex with your mom son” and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts “what the hell are you doing son” the kid replies " it’s not funny when it’s your mom is it"

When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, “I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it.” So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I’m being charged with murder. I don’t understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.

Q. What’s the difference between my phone battery in an anti vax kid? A. Nothing they both die at ten

So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler

Tyler only has a kid because they don’t make condoms the size of Lego Men.

what’s yellow and can’t swim?? a school bus with elementary kids

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son, and a daughter. Twins. When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They we’re happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they notice the womans kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren’t orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids we’re Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren’t orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn’t believe, they thought it was the children’s reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn’t see her children. She asked the teacher… And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them. When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swinged their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, Yo Momma Lost Ya.

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27 Bc my basements still dark…