Kid jokes
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Kid 1: "It's a bird!"
Kid 2: "It's a plane!"
Me: "It's a terrorist!"
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.