Kid jokes
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.