Kid jokes
What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.
Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I had to go to my friend's house.
I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
What do clothes and emo kids have in common?
They both get hung.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.