Kid jokes

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.

Random: What are your hobbies?

Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀

I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.