Keep jokes
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
What color is Sonic's ball?
Blue because he keeps getting rejected.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.