Keep Jokes

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!

Balls are annoying. They just bounce and never keep still.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?

"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"

That one stupid kid in class :

The image shows a still from the cartoon Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick is holding a trumpet with a confused look on his face. The text on the image reads: "TEACHER: PATRIC YOU HAD A QUESTION? YA UNMMMM... I HAVE THIS TRUMPET AND I KEEP FORGETTING WHAT IT IS CALLED"

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

"Heard of what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Of course I've heard of cows."

"No, a cow herd."

"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

Why is the sun mad at the clouds?

The clouds keep throwing shade.

Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?

Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?

A: They keep breaking records!

Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)

That's it, it wasn't a joke.

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.